Archive for November, 2007

I apologies to the cat community

PREPARING YOUR CAT FOR CONSUMPTION
Since cat meat isn’t commercially available in the United States (and illegal to boot), you’ll probably have to prepare cat yourself. If you live in the more enlightened domains of East Asia, and can purchase cat at the local market, you may want to skip this step and proceed to COOKING YOUR CAT.

First, get a large cutting board and lay out your cat. Lop off the head, the tail and the feet with a sharp butcher’s knife. These parts of the cat contain little usable meat, so toss them aside.

Next, make a longitudinal incision on the cat’s abdomen. Reach your hand (wear gloves!) into the body cavity, and remove all of the internal organs. Discard them- especially the liver. It may look tasty, but the liver of a felis domesticus is frequently too toxic for human consumption.

SKINNING YOUR CAT
There’s more than one way to skin a cat- our exhaustive research uncovered two. On this site, two High School students meticulously guide you step-by-step through skinning a cat - complete with diagrams. To summarize, use a sharp knife to trim off the skin, and pull it back, snipping away at the muscle tissue.
Gourmands like to skin their cats differently. They hate shun using a skining knife, calling it crude. They reccomend you grab the loose skin around the head stump, and using a pair of pliers, peel it back off the carcass like a banana, rolling it off the body. The final step before cooking is to wash the meat of stray gristle and hairs. Nobody likes cat hair in their food.

COOKING YOUR CAT
Now you are ready to cook! One USENET account recommends placing a cat in a very high powered magnetron microwave. This device supposedly can cook a cat in approximately 10 minutes- the proteins are denatured (cooked), and sugars caramelized by microwave heating. The cat may be “cooked” but will it taste good? If you’ve ever tried to microwave a raw hamburger, you’ll know the answer is “no.” For the best taste, our reader inquired about possibly slow cooking a feline. That’s exactly what we at PWEETA recommend- a slow cooked Beer Roasted Cat. Other cat recipes you may enjoy are classic Cat Tamales, Cat in Spicy Ginger Sauce, and Cat Au Gratin.

BEER ROASTED CATDO NOT USE BEER
1 cat cut into roast
1 can of Campbell’s Cream of Mushroom soup
1 cube of beef bouillon
1 clove of garlic
1 Fine Irish Stout, a lot like a popular dark Irish Beer®, but NOT that brand at their lawyers’ request. They alledge this article, educating others in the legal eating habits of over 100 million people world-wide, and specifically in rising East Asian markets, is “highly offensive.” 

Cover and soak cat roast in salt water for 24 hours. Drain water and then cover and soak in beer for 6 hours. Drain and place in crock pot with your cans of soup. Add a clove of garlic, and a cube of beef bouillon. If you start to slow cook your cat in the morning with your George Foreman Cooker (or it’s ilk), you’ll have finely cooked feline in time for supper.

If a slow cooker is not available, a cat can be baked at 350 degrees for 2-3 hours in a conventional oven and still come out pretty good. Beer Roasted Cat is fantastic served with mashed potatoes, collard greens, and fresh, homemade egg rolls. When planning a full meal just remember- cat is a course best served hot!

Cat may not be the most glamorous, or tastiest of game meats, but with a little thought and preparation, Baked Cat can make the belly of the persnicketiest diner glow with home baked goodness.
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For every Dog bashing cat lover that comes on Rsbandb and bashes dogs with stupid, retarded comments I’m going to eat a cat. It’ll piss my neighbors off but it’ll be worth it.

Want to talk about Over grown ra..er..cats? Make a topic, talk about them. Don’t come in a topic i make and start bragging stupid shit.

This spawned from this topic:

http://forums.rsbandb.com/viewtopic.php?t=59980

To be fair, Myself, Anubis and Brad was having a perfectly reasonable conversation in fact I’ve argued about it in mod chats before and it’s been perfectly fine. But you see, it goes to shit when two Individuals step in and bring the discussion down to a deep dark stupid shithole of crap and ruin it.

And it’s for this purpose, as it happens to a lot of things, not just this one topic that I’m now taking a stand in my own little way. Are you tired of this sort of crap? Then take a stand today and eat a cat.

p.s This blog post is part joke, part serious i wont tell you which parts I’m joking about, i will tell you one small part I’m serious about - I’m fed up of people rushing in bashing something like idiots, seriously, if you enjoy doing this - Fuck off. We’re all guilty of it but if you’re doing it consistently just piss off.

SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE CAPITALS

IVE DECIDED MY BLOG ISNT MEETING THE RETARD STANDARDS THAT THE INTERENETS DO SET SO IM GOING TO TYEP THIS IN CAPITAL LETTERS, WITHOUT CORRECTING SPELLING AND NO GRAMM0ZR

NOW THEN WHERE WAS I

I AM PISSED OK? RIGHT? YOU GET ME? I AM ANGSTY. I DID THREE CLUES TODAY.

THREE. COUNT EM, ONE, TWO FOUR THREE. EVERYTIME FAGEX HAS HAD ME COLLECING UP PURE SHIT.

TELL ME ADREW GOWERHEAD WHOS BRIGHT SODDING IDEA WAS IT TO MAKE ME COLLECT UP PURE SHIT LIKE BONE SPEARS AND FUCKING IRON PLATES? I’M A LEVEL 113 DOING A LEVEL 3 BLOODY CLUE SO WHY THE SODDING HELL DO YOU THINK IT’S A GOOD IDEA, A FUNNY IDEA TO MAKE ME COLLECT UP SHIT AND THEN HAVE THE SODDING NERVE TO GIVE ME COMPLETE BOLLOCKS IN RETURN?

OH GEE THANKS FOR THE 4TH FUCKING RUNE WC AXE, LOOK DUMBASS I HAVE A SODDING WC CAPE. SEE IT? IT MEANS I DON’T NEED YOUR CRAPPY AXE. I DONT WANT YOUR BLOODY BLOOD RUNES, I CERTAINLY DON’T WANT 15 SHARK

YOU HONESTLY THINK 15 SHARK MAKES UP FOR THE BLOODY CRAP I HAD TO COLLECT UP? LOLOL DIS IS FUNNEH LOOK AT ME WID MY BONE SPEAR SHRUGGING AT THE CHAOS ALTER@@ SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE HELL? I WOULDNT EVEN GET PKED YOU BLOODY RARG

GIVE ME A GOOD BLOODY TREASURE TRAIL DROP OR ILL BURN YOUR BLOODY OFFICES DOWN. I KNOW WHERE YOU WORK.

EDIT: ACTUALYL WHILE IM LIKE DIS TY SO MUCH FAGEX OFR THE GRAND EXCHANGE OR SHOULD I SAY GRAND LUCKY DIP. HOW HARD IS IT TO SHOW ME WHAT OTHER PEOPLE ARE SELLING THINGS FOR? WHAT AM I A M IND READER? EVERY DAY I HAVE TO BLOODY UPDATE THE COSTS NOW AND PRAY IVE PICKED THE RIGHT AMOUNT THAT PEOPLE ARE BUYING FOR THAT DAY OR IT WONT SELL, EVER, CAUSE YOU STUPID MORONS ONLY MATCH PEOPLE UP WITH THE EXACT BLOODY PRICE WTF?

HOW BLOODY RETARDED, I PUT RUNE PLATES UP THERE YESTERDAY, CHECKED ON THEM TODAY AND REALIZED THE SODDING PRICE HAD DROPPED SO MUCH NO ONE COULD ACTUALLY BUY MY PLATES ANYMORE CAUSE THEY COULDNT OFFER THAT HIGH, NICE WORK THERE FAGEX ONLY YOU COULD MAKE A SELLING SYSTEM WHERE YOU CAN’T ACTUALLY SELL.

BACK TO USING WORLD 1/2 I SUPPOSE!

I love runescapers

The RS community, lets face it isn’t very good. It’s bad. But once in awhile you’ll meet someone either extremely awesome that you like a lot or someone so stupid you wonder how they manage to use a computer.

Now call me cruel but i like to wind these people up, take advantage of there simple ways for my own pleasure. Can i be blamed? Well..yeah probably.

Yesterday i upset some married lady, accused her of being an alien and called her children robots. Is that the sort of thing you’d let bother you? I wouldn’t but she sure didn’t appreciate it. I have to say though, it made fishing a lot more interesting.

Lots of people bitch about being bugged for there skill cape emots. Why? It’s fun. I like to think up lots of little things to make them say/do before i show them it. I know one Bib user pretends to speak Spanish half the time and makes them all stand there trying to translate.

Yesterday some kid was begging me for a rune wc axe, i told him I’d get him one and said BRB and teleported off. I didn’t return and sure that’s slightly cruel but that’ll teach him for bugging me with his stupid requests.

In short, i love to toy with these people, it’s fun, it keeps the game interesting and oh god did i laugh at this guy:

Lol?

I caught that much and then had to stop taking screenshots cause as you see in the photo with his “thank you” he started helping himself to my arrows, it’s not in my nature to help them so i carried on with my ZOMGS and begun to steal both his hell hounds. I was going to share, i never try to whore out on these things if they can be shared. But as you see, i log in and he demands.

This is my game just as much as anyone else’s and like hell am i having some stupid child tell me what i can or cannot do. Later on he said “i wish i could meet you irl so i could give you a real smack” LOL? Any day!

Once i was done ranging i took the time to look his stats up, after all if you’re going to laugh at my stats at least make sure you’re better than me right Mr 76 range? Mr 35 farming? Mr not ranked in Con or Hunter? HEY NICE HERBLORE LEVEL, You can just about do the legends quest and you laugh at MY cape?

Typical to these usual morons he has a high fletching level and thinks hes gods gift. Keep on dragging in the Prats jagex, i do so enjoy playing with them.

The Creed

Ok i gotta say Assassins creed - When it was first announced i was a huge fan, i was looking forward to it the most.

It looked like a cross between Prince of Persia and Hitman two favorite game series of mine, it was made by Ubi Soft (they made the latest series of POP) who also happen to be my favorite developer it had what seemed to be a very interesting story and well, it was hyped to hell.

What could possibly go wrong? Quiet a bit really.

Now don’t get me wrong, i like this game. But I’m not ignorant, I’m not an idiot and it’s by no means a good game, not by the quality of games that are out right now.

I spent a good few days now trying to place my finger on just WHAT Assassins creed reminded me of and I figured it out today, this:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=EJq9oBkQftU

And while i know it’s a terrible game, i know it’s bad. I liked it. What saved spider man was the web slinging. Being able to just swing around an entire city, hearing the wind go by and just being free was relaxing, which is odd for a video game.

Honest to god you could swing about for ages and not get bored of it.

Now assassins creed isn’t identical. There is more variety but it is still, extremely repetitive. Within the first hour, if you play properly you’ll have done everything once and if you want to max the game you’ll have to do it all again at least another 100 times.

The difficulty is all over the bloody place, the flags you’re supposed to collect are bloody hard to spot and in, frankly stupid places. Good luck finding all those without a guide. The look out points, are areas you’re supposed to find, clime to and use to scout things out i get that, ok.

WHY are they shown on my mini map then? Call me stupid but what’s the bloody point in having them in the game if the mini map is going to tell me where they are right away, the fun of it is hunting for it. The same goes for all the other mini missions that are stuck on my map.

I suppose they thought climbing up to the point was the fun part. Err..NO. I can genuinely say this, I’ve loved climbing buildings and jumping about in crackdown, i liked it in spiderman. Those two games got it down perfectly. Assassins creed acts like it’s catering for a retard, who quiet frankly shouldn’t be trying to clime walls anyway. I’m not joking, the controls for climbing are layed out for a moron.

All you do, to clime and you do NOTHING else is pull the right trigger and point the stick in the direction you want to clime. Hold it like that till he reaches the top. Now, that’s not fun. The animation, the way he climbs it’s very realistic, very well done. But watching him do it for five minutes because all I’ve got to do is hold this bloody trigger and button down isn’t fun it just hurts your hand after a bit.

The climbing in creed sucks. I prefer to run through the streets, free running and only tackling walls when needed. Which i must say, free running feels a lot better, it’s pretty decent on rooftops but the lay out of the roof tops lacks, you’re constantly finding yourself against big gaps you just can’t make and it sucks the fun out of it i want to be able to use the rooftops to get to one side of the city to the other.

The story, from what I’ve seen so far is pretty complex and very interesting. Top quality which, is what i expect from Ubi, they’ve always had good stories.

Now i know all I’ve done is bitch and it seems like i hate this but I don’t. It’s saved, much like spiderman due to one thing - The combat:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=hnj4RHFG038

Again, it’s been dumbed down. But it’s a good thing this time. I hate button smashers, i hate games that pack in so many bloody moves that involve me to hit X, A, Y 10 times over to pull off one trick. It pisses me off, it’s not possible and it’s useless because you’ll be dead before it happens.

Creed does it differently. Creed has one button for all your combat moves. You just press X. Sounds boring? Yeah, i thought so to when i heard it. Except the way they’ve done it is clever. It’s not about button order to make moves happen, it’s about timing.

Enemy trys to throw you? Moment he makes contact with your arm press X to counter it. Gotta get your timing right or you’ll be thrown.

Enemy swings sword at you? MOMENT it hits your sword, moment you hear the clang Press X and counter attack while he’s vulnerable.

On the attack but just can’t break his defense? Hit X to swing and the moment you make contact hit X again to string a combo together.

This might sound simple, because on paper it is. But it takes practice to get it right in Creed. The Camera is fantastic when fighting, it makes you feel like you’re watching a film, you can go through a hundred enemy’s and not take a single blow if you’re good enough.

The combat is perfect, it’s fun, it’s not frustrating and i actually go looking for fights over avoiding them because i just love taking out 10 odd guards without one of them touching me.

Rent it if you’re interested in it, if you want my opinion. Buy it once you’ve decided if you like it or not.

“Bubbly”

This word annoys me.

Don’t get me wrong, i love bubbles. But i don’t mean bubble bubbles. I mean people that claim there “bubbly” they have a “bubbly personality”.

Know what this means? There fat.

I have never once met a person claim to be bubbly and not be fat. It’s a way of saying I am fat. It’s code. EVER see anyone online claim there bubbly it’s there way of saying there over weight.

And i hate it. I have NO problem with fat people it just pisses me off when they pretend there all happy about it OH I’M NOT FAT I’M BUBBLY. No.

You could perhaps try podgy. I am a very podgy person. Yeah, i’ll be ok with that.

Just a minor bitch sparked from a comment i spotted on teh youtube. Every once in awhile I’ll see a comment so god damn stupid i just have to click there name to see what sort of a jackass is wasting precious oxygen. It happend today and i came across one stupid British girl and her stupid fat british friend and one of there videos was a “piss take” on some stupid music video.

In the description they claimed there just two “bubbly friends”. FUCK OFF. YOU’RE A BLOODY IDIOT. STOP POLLUTING YOUTUBE WITH THIS GARBAGE.

JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN MAKE A VIDEO BLOG DOES NOT MEAN YOU SHOULD.

SOMEONE Needs to invent the “Bitch slap” key. Whenever someone does something bloody stupid you can slap them. AND WHILE I’M MOANING I..Hang on, gotta make a call.

OK AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE? Why is it when i make a bloody call and need to write something down no matter HOW MUCH I’ve tested the pen before hand on a bit of paper just to make sure it works the bloody thing craps out and dies JUST as i need to jot something down?

AND WHY AM I SO COLD. Omg life is so unfair. :(

ONE MORE THING:

To My Toad Shroom in response to this:

I DO NOT HAVE FLEAS! You picked them all out like the little monkey you are.

Quality of B&B, sandbox closing?

Sucks, Lame, boring, dull, crap, rubbish, boring.

WAA, WAA, WAA. WAA FUCKING WAA.

THIS IS BAD! THIS IS GOOD SO I’LL COPY IT 100x OVER TILL EVERYONES SICK OF IT! WE’LL ALL TALK LIKE IDIOTS CAUSE IT’S COOL AND TEH INTERNETS1!

If you are not planning to read all this X out, you wont get it so don’t waste your time.

Fuck all of this stupid bloody crap. Over the past two fucking weeks I’ve seen so much bitching, whining and crying and stupid comments all over. THE PEOPLE SUCK, THE QUALITY OF POSTS IS DOWN, WE SHOULD REMOVE THE SANDBOX!

So many people claim they give a damn about Rsbandb but how many of you have done a fucking thing for it ever?

I’m not talking newspapers or events crews, any of that. That doesn’t help the damn site in anyway that just feeds the ungrateful whiny community. Bitch bitch bitch all day long but no one does a thing about it.

You want big long essay posts? GO MAKE SOME THEN.

You want more art in graphics central, WHAT the HELL do you want us to do hold your damn hand? GO AND PUT STUFF IN THERE. Quality of sandbox going down? THEN BLOODY AVOID IT. If YOU take the first step and stick to it others will follow.

STOP acting like the damn place is a popularity contest, cause one person does something EVERYONE else has to? What is with these god damn trends why can’t you just be YOURSELF and not be ashamed of what YOU want instead? Know how i got “popular” once? I acted my bloody self, I’m not all that now adays and i still don’t give a bloody rats ass and why? Cause I’m still being myself and you can bloody live with it. Stop these stupid fucking trends, be your bloody self and if someone doesn’t like it? Screw them and there insecure self.

You don’t like what rsbandb is? You don’t like how it is? It’s your fault, it’s what you, the people have made it into. Don’t like it? Not willing to change it? Then get the hell out you aren’t needed.

Instead of fighting amongst your bloody selves and whining or trying to force people into doing other things or posting other places (i.e the most recent suggestion of closing the sandbox like that’s going to fix anything.) why don’t you put something back into it. Why don’t you donate, why don’t you ADD TO THE BLOODY GUIDES AND DATABASES. It WILL get put to use I’ll bloody make sure of it.

You can’t force people to post elsewhere, you can’t force people to do what you want. You CAN shape it into what you want though, bit by bit. If YOU take the step and decide I’m not going to post like this, or do this.

I’ve been more and more inactive over the past few months because i was bored of it, i disliked it. But you know what? That’s not the way. Plenty of people have up and left in the past, plenty of my friends, plenty of people i miss have come and gone and I’m still here. A lot of the newer community I’ve not welcomed, I’ve not got to know and i don’t know many people now, most of the people i once knew are now long gone and have up and left because they didn’t like change.

That’s there choice but it’s not one I’ll make. I choose to be loyal, i choose to stick with something i care about, no matter how stupid that might sound wither it’s bad or good. And if it is bad, I’ll make the most of it, try to improve it and change it.

This is how I’m going to handle things from now on. I’ll be thinking up new ideas and thinking of new ways to improve things and i hope over whining and crying, people genuinely take this not as me angry or having ago but trying to get a message across. I hope from this i see more originality, less posts in the sandbox and more creative, thoughtful stuff everywhere else. More contributions to the sites guides and databases. More maps, new ideas for what we could have on our site.

Anything is possible and if you suggest it, plan it and lay it out well it could happen. Turn Rsbandb into something better, if the community is willing to contribute it’ll grow and grow. Less trends, less worrying about what people might think of you, less taking things for granted. More giving something back.

Enough whining, enough crying. Leave if you’re going to be like that. Closing the sandbox isn’t a solution, it wont stop like that. You’ve got your chance, if you don’t want to help, if you don’t want to be a loyal part of this community just piss off to another fansite, we’ve always had something better than a community and it’s not going to be ruined cause of other people.

Make new posts, make new topics, be original, contribute and help - don’t do it once and never again. KEEP doing it. One sub forum doesn’t affect anything, it doesn’t dictate how people are.

Call Of Duty 4

SPOILERS AHOY!

Don’t read below if you care about the story.

Ok, firstly i want to make this completely clear: I fucking hate war games.

You wont find no COD, Battlefeild, medal of honour none of that crap in my collection. Cause i bloody despise most war games. ESPECIALLY WORLD WAR 2, STOP MAKING THESE GAMES THERE OVER DONE.

I hate how it’s almost always bloody Americans and how Americans do it all and get all the glory. I bloody hate how no one half important seems to die in these games. I bloody hate how it makes war seem like such a jolly old time where you go in, fuck everyone up and walk out skipping looking like you’ve just spent a month in some beauty spare over at war.

I BLOODY HATE how developers play it safe and it’s always the same crap spewed out.

With that a side and out the way, i figured I’d hate Call of Duty 4 however i was going to give it a chance because it stood out massively from all these other war games that plague the game industry and I’m very glad i did.

The story is fictional but, when you stop and think about it what happens in the game is actually very possible. That’s what makes it great. What happens isn’t unbelievable, in the world we’re living in with terrorism and such it’s a lot closer to reality than most games.

One gripe i do have is they make the Russians out to be the bad guys, I mean ok i get it but that’s slightly over done now. Anyways add in a Fictional but possible story with realistic modern day weapons, awesome characters and you have a winner.

The campaign rivals Halo 3, the multiplayer Rivals halo3 and i can’t make a judgment on which is better, nor do i really want to. The thing that makes COD4 great is it does what nothing else has done. Not only that, IW aren’t scared of showing war for what it is, you don’t walk away happily ever after.

At one point you’ve invaded a city to capture a guy and you discover a nuclear bomb within the city, all forces are called to pull out and as you’re leaving a chopper gets shot down so you and the rest of your team land to help the survivors escape. After shooting your way over there and finding only the pilot alive you run back to the chopper and take off in a typical war game you’d make it out and be a hero.

Not in COD4. As you’re flying to safety the bomb goes off, the chopper crashes and you wake up to this waste land, having control of your character again you literally stumble out of the chopper, you can see the mushroom cloud in the background, dust is blowing everywhere and every things destroyed. Your entire team, the pilot the other pilot you rescued - everyone has died and you’re left stumbling away from this wreckage, a building falls in the background and as you stumbled away you drop to your knees and die too.

Pleasant eh? Doesn’t matter, there only Americans. I’M JOKING I’M JOKING.

Well I’m not, they was Americans and you take control of the SAS from that point.

But it’s things like that which happen throughout Call of Duty. It shows what a full out war between super powers could result to. Not only that but it presents full out battles well. Now I can’t claim I’ve been in the middle of a warzone but Jets flying over head dropping bombs in enemy forces ahead of you, bullets flying all over, grenades going back and forth it’s chaotic, it’s hard and it involves a lot of strategy.

Something in COD4 that i didn’t like to begin with is the spawning. The majority of enemy’s respawn, you can’t kill everyone in the area and move on. They’ll keep respawning till you push forward. I hated this at first, i thought it was a stupid idea. But I’ve grown to appreciate it.

In a real war, you don’t shoot 20 people and OH I’VE WON THE FIGHT! It doesn’t work like that. In a real war you’re against thousands and the only way to gain ground is to push them back. And that’s the only way in COD4. Push the enemy’s back till they can’t respawn anymore. It makes things hard, it makes things frustrating as hell at times. But it’s a lot more exciting.

I do think the level of difficulty is odd, it’s easy as hell sometimes and impossibly hard at other times. At one point you’re asked to wait for a chopper to pick you and your partner up. Your partners leg is wounded so you have to put him down in a spot so he can snipe.

Now, all you have on you is a sniper and a secondary gun yourself. It’s two of you against an army. I’m not joking, you’re out in what looks like an abandoned carnival there’s little cover. The enemys come from the front, both sides and even above. Not only that you have guard dogs that, no joke kill you if you can’t react fast enough in one blow.

Even if you DO find a good spot, the computer is so grenade happy it’ll blow you to hell 100 times over before it gives up on you. Combine this with easy death and i mean very easy and you’ve got a very frustrating time.

The multiplayer is godly, there’s a lot of Dicks online but for the most part it’s godly.

What more is there to say? Go buy it.