American football! Big girls rugby.

That’s right. That’s all it is. Big pansy’s in there Armour running about playing a dulled down version of Rugby.

Yet another failure of an American sport that doesn’t hold up with the rest of the world. Why? Because it’s for wimps, it’s for girls it’s for fags that don’t want to get roughed up a bit.

I saw my first American football game a week or so ago while in a Bar, it was being shown on there TV sets my opinion on it? Boring. What the hell is the big fascination? It seriously lasts about five seconds before they blow the whistle and start all over again.

That’s ALL it is. You start, two sides smash heads like a bunch of mentally retarded chimps, the ref blows on the whistle they repeat until, i presume there all brain dead and cannot carry on (i never caught the end, i fell asleep.) it’s just incredibly dull.

But my biggest issue. My complaint that I’ve had over the years is the fact they wear that body armour.

Now I’ve heard two excuses used the most when it comes to this:

1) It’s a lot more violent than rugby so they need it.

Lol, i actually brought this for awhile till i saw the game. And i can say now, that no, it isn’t.

Watch i’ll prove it:

Rugby. Take note of there clothes for a start, see how messed up they tend to be? Doesn’t look to easy to me. See the blood on a couple of those guys? That’s fairly common. SEE how even when they get slammed the ref doesn’t try to stop it, we don’t stop every 5 seconds cause the big babies got his shorts dirty.

HELL see what there doing at the start? That’s known as a war dance. They do that to psych out the other team, it’s supposed to scare them oh yes, we don’t have no pansy cheeleaders, we don’t need some blond headed moron prancing about shouting stupid shit to make them feel like men, they flex there muscles and scream taunts at the other team they WANT them pissed off and spooked. Cause they’ve got something American football players don’t have - Balls.

An american football game lasts 60 minutes. A rugby game lasts 80. Pussy’s can’t even last the long haul.

Now heres an American football version:

Yeah, i don’t see anymore violence going on in that one than there is for Rugby. The difference? Rugby lasts longer, and rugby players have no pussy armour protecting them.  Seriously look at them, they look fucking stupid with that big upper body armour on, take it the fuck off and play like a man you bunch of pussys.

American football has teams made up of 11 wimps in armour. Rugby has teams made up of 15. Pussy’s.

The second point i hear?

2) American football players are bigger so they need the protection.

What the fuck? Honestly if your playing against people bigger than you i could get it but there all big guys it wont make a fucking difference you idiot.

Not only that American football players really AREN’T that big. They just fucking look it due to those ridiculesly over protective top armour things they wear (i will keep calling it armour cause i cba to find out the real name) if you get the chance to check there twig arms that MOST of them have you’ll see there nothing but a wimp.

I could seriously go on and on about this, because it is such a pussy sport they wear that shit and for god knows what reason think there the big tough men, fuck that come try Rugby you’d be crying before the game ended.

But I’ll end with one question - Of all the body armour you American football players have to wear why on earth do you wear a cup? It’s clear you’ve got no dick, it’s clear you’ve got no balls.

Still not convinced about rugby? Then allow me to push it over the edge, theres two types of rugby. The one in the video is the better known one. Theres another version where the rules are A LOT more slack, it’s a lot more rough and because of that, the safer option has become the standard.

I can think of no  better way to describe American football than claiming there nothing but a bunch of big hairy Dykes running about wishing they was men. You know the type i mean, there’s always a dominate one in a gay relationship, there’s always the one that takes on the role of the man and is all big and butch. Yeah, that’s American football summed up.


  1. October 19th, 2007 | 4:55 am

    You were in a bar? :( Drunkard.

  2. creepypirate
    October 19th, 2007 | 12:26 pm

    :( i sorry, i drunk orange juice onlyy. hug mee.

  3. Dokter Bob
    October 19th, 2007 | 2:04 pm

    The ref blows the whistle because that’s the end of that play. Not because “they got their shorts dirty.”

    But I hate football, too, but still, it needs some clearing up.

    Tanks. :)

  4. Burnt Joint
    October 19th, 2007 | 2:26 pm

    Oh yes, rugby > other contact sports.

  5. creepypirate
    October 19th, 2007 | 3:54 pm

    Yeah i know why he blows his whistle, it’s just much more funny to think it’s over there shorts.

    It’s boring, far to many stops. Trying to get it as far up one end as possible then switching. Dull.

    Just have both sides trying to get the ball up the other side of the field at the same time and stamp on the refs whistle. Much more interesting game on your hands.

  6. October 19th, 2007 | 6:02 pm

    i totally agree with you.
    Rugby is SO much better than american football, and you always seem to see in all these american films the “jocks” and the cheerleaders. Where does everyone else fit in? I suppose theres two more groups: emo/goth & “geeks” or “boffins”.
    I find american schools so biased, like the “homecoming”, where the award the best looking people. I mean, WTF?
    How about we just say- “you are ugly”, “you are pretty.”

  7. October 19th, 2007 | 8:07 pm

    I do not have blonde hair.

  8. October 19th, 2007 | 10:16 pm


  9. creepypirate
    October 20th, 2007 | 12:59 am

    What about “soccer”?

  10. Slimpoo
    October 20th, 2007 | 10:54 am

    You call it “pussy sport” when they use protective armour and rugby players don’t?

    Hell, that’s what makes American Football better. Atleast THEY think about their health and all, while rugby players hit their heads and die.

    It’s like not wearing a helmet when biking just because it’s “cool”.

    It’s not cool, it’s stupid.

    On the other hand, though, i agree with you with the rest.

    But meh, Golf owns still.

  11. creepypirate
    October 20th, 2007 | 11:52 am

    LOL sports for entertainment. It’s not entertaining if they DON’T get hurt. It’s boring and it’s being a pussy. If you think sports are so awesome cause there responsible, then why the hell do we have contact sports? Lets turn it all into none-contact and play it safe. CUZ ITS SO MUCH FUN@@ Or perhaps it’s not better, because playing it safe sucks. It’s not exciting.

    NO ONE to my knowledge has died playing Rugby, sure people have got hurt but do you see them complaining? See any of them going MAN WE NEED ARMOUR, THOSE AMERICANS ARE SO RESPONSIBLE1!!

    Pussy sport, the armour isn’t needed.

  12. Dragonrai6
    October 20th, 2007 | 1:35 pm

    How can you find football boring? In my opinion, it’s much better than Rugby. And do you think they wear pads not “Armor” because they want to? No. They wear them because it’s required. When you aren’t playing under officials you can play football without pads and you can see it’s close to Rugby’s “deadliness”. And if it’s injuries that give you want you want than how about this year in football? Kevin Everett is almost paralyzed and in a wheelchair after making a tackle. How about Trent Green who got a knee in the head and most likely ended his career. Or how about years ago when a player got tackled and his bone popped right through is leg and through his pants? It’s not about who wears pads and who doesn’t, it’s not about who gets hurt and who doesn’t, it’s all abut the competition of the sport, the suspense, and the excitement each play brings.

    By the way, each game lasts about 180 minutes not 60.

  13. Munky
    October 20th, 2007 | 3:55 pm

    Pffsht, if someone doesn’t get paralysed in a rugby game it’s not a real game.

  14. Slimpoo
    October 20th, 2007 | 4:08 pm


  15. creepypirate
    October 20th, 2007 | 8:55 pm


    First we’ll stick to calling it American football. Football is a game for sissy’s to dance around a ball not a game for sissy’s scared of getting hurt.

    Suspense and excitement isn’t in American football. It stops every 30 seconds and starts all over again. Any suspense that might of been building is quickly sucked dry.

    As for the injuries you mean they wear armour and STILL the pussy’s can’t handle it? Wow, they should stop playing.

    And don’t give me that bullshit official crap, Rugby’s official, it’s got it’s own world tournament and you don’t see them dressed up like twats, you don’t see them getting badly injured despite being defenseless compared to those Pussy’s that play for 30 seconds, stop, do it all over again. There just wimps, to soft to be playing such a sport clearly.

    Face it, all American sport is boring. Baseball? Fucking dull as hell. American football? SNNORRRE.

    Crap. Watch Rugby.

    And i can’t slimpoo, the truth needs to come out, I’m has to. :(

  16. Sev
    October 21st, 2007 | 1:13 am

    I’m American and I completely agree with you.

    Just another excuse for two men to get close to eachother I say :D

  17. October 21st, 2007 | 5:52 pm

    I play rugby and I must say, it is so much more intense than that American Football shizz. They don’t even use their feet much!

  18. October 23rd, 2007 | 12:25 am

    Nope that’s wrestling. Trust me I was on the team for 3 years.
    P.S. I used to play rugby :)

  19. Gotekn
    October 24th, 2007 | 7:52 pm

    I agree with you that football is a very dull sport, but that is only because rugby hasn’t made it’s way profoundly into America.

    Also I think that rugby is more dangerous that football because of the lack of pads and a bunch of people wanting to tear each others’ head off.

    Lacrosse has started to get big in America and it’s a lot more dangerous than football.

    Rugby will come into America soon enough and then we can see all the excitement the Eastern World sees in it.

    Also football players wear pads because unlike rugby, football lets everyone play, not just the people that can run and move the ball around well.

    I agree with you in that rugby is more manly than football, but then it’s the only thing you grew up with, then of course it will be.


  20. ryan1
    October 25th, 2007 | 11:48 pm

    You’re going to need to calm down over it. If you don’t like football, fine, no one is forcing you to watch football. It’s just a damn sport

    We suck because we wear pads and care about safety rather than being a bunch of violent aggressive idiots? Fine. =P

    Out of curiosity, what made you decide to write this?

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